Back in Action?

Getting better...

Current mood: calm

So it's time for another update I suppose. In general things are going better. I don't have much to complain about right now, which is different I guess. I think I am just taking a backseat in most areas of my life for once and am going to just try and let things happen versus trying to make them happen.

The band got 2nd place this past weekend and took best music. I couldn't be more happy for them, nor could I be more proud. They are working so hard, but I am gonna make them work even harder. Win or lose this weekend they have to continue to get better. I won't let them settle for mediocrity! So for those of you who are reading this it's time to step up!

Relationship status is still the same, but again instead of trying to force things I am just going to let them happen. Not much else to say there.

Work is still... work. I am hoping things get better. I am just feeling so much pressure that it's becoming a burden.

For those who haven't heard yet, I plan to head back to school in January to get my degree in Music Education! Rachel, the band director at Triton Central, has convinced me that I would actually be a good band director, so I am going to go at it. It's just too bad I couldn't have figured this out 4 years ago lol! Oh well all in do time I guess!

Well I hope all is well with all of you, and I hope to see ya soon. Much Love, Philippe

Somethings Gotta Give...

So in this endless stream of emotions there has got to be a point in which things change direction. I have been just in a weird mood, I'm losing friends, I don't know what's going on with my life but this is crazy. I just lost my best friend and the worst thing about it is, I didn't do anything and there is nothing I can do to convince him otherwise. And then to make matters worse I feel guilty, and I didn't even do anything. I feel the guilt every time I go to that school. I love those kids though and would walk to the end of the earth to see them succeed.

Tomorrow we have our first competition. I am so nervous for them. They have worked hard and I think they are ready. I am ready to start getting some feed back so we can make them better.

Things at work aren't any better right now. I feel like I am just a pawn in their little game. I like what I do as a technician, I like the people I work with for the most part, but there are some uncontrollable elements about that place that are making it an unattractive place to be. Those who work with me know of what I speak.

My love life remains unchanged. I just have bad luck. I either attract the ones who are considered clinically insane, the ones who are in the friend zone, or the ones who are an absolute mess and have no self esteem. I dunno what it is about me, maybe I give off a weird pheromone to those types of women.

In closing, life right now is just so mediocre. The one time I am happy is when I am teaching those kids and like I said that now feels like a guilty pleasure. I just want all the drama to stop. I am such a harmless person when it comes down to it. I don't see why anyone would feel the need to ruin my life but whatever. Anyway I hope all of you are doing better than I am. Peace and Love! Philippe

I thought I knew....

So what do you do when someone you thought was your best friend is trying to hurt you deliberately. I have stayed out of this whole drama bullshit for a long time and I have about had it. So if you are reading this, and you know who you are, get all of the facts straight before you go slandering me to other people. I have always been forth right with people and try to be fair and give credit where credit is do. I will never be one to try to take anything away from someone, but if it is rightfully mine why am I going to not claim it. Nextly since we want to focus on my flaws lets talk about yours, both of yours. Living in your own world and if one little thing gets in that world to disturb it, instead of acting like an adult and trying to handle it in a civil manner, you go off and handle it in an underhanded and might I add ILLEGAL way. So I am not trying to rock the boat because I am all about mending friendships and not tearing them down. I invite you to come speak with me if you are seeking clarity about anything that I have ever said to you, because I think you will walk away holding your head ever so low thinking, "Now I feel terrible about the things I said about him and what I did." Word of caution, if you are my friend act like it. Speak to me to my face about things that concern you, because I don't run at the mouth about you behind your back!

Magnetism